she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
