just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize