did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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