I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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