3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
