ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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