just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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