I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
