all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
