Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
