If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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