Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
