Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
