Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
