I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
