So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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