Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize