you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
