so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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