go do what you do best...puke behind churches
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
