He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
