is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
