I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
