Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
