when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
