why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
