o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
