you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
