I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
