Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
