Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize