We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
