from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize