Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
