I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
