You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
