Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
