LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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