Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
