happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
