Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
