The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
