can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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