I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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