Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
