He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
