So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
