the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
