haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
