just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
