We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
