I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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