ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
