I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
