I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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