Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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