Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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