I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
