the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
