is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
that is very illegal...i love you.
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