Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
