belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
