i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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