wanna go halves on a baby?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know her cup size but not her name....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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