Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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