Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
