Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize
