I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
