Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
