i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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