You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Sober January is a disaster.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
