I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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