Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
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Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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