I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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