Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
